sur-face [sur-fis] noun
the outer face, outside, or exterior boundary of a thing;
outermost or uppermost layer or area.
I don’t do surface very well. Especially where relationships are concerned. Yes, I have aquaintances or people I know that I may not be particularly close to, but when I am close to someone – or when I meet someone I want to get to get to know – I want to know it all. The good, the bad, the ups, the downs. I want to know their dreams, their hopes, their goals. I want to share their struggles, ease their load. Sometimes I get to do that – but sometimes people aren’t comfortable sharing those parts of themselves. For some it takes time for trust to build. Regardless of where someone is at in that process, I simply choose to love.
In my post Created for Relationships I talk about being there for each other, to bear one another’s burdens…it is something we all need. Sometimes life gets too hard to bear alone. We struggle in silence though, not wanting to let others see our pain. Afraid to open up. Afraid to be judged. Afraid we’ll be seen as a burden. Afraid.
Sometimes our struggle is known and we receive kind messages and loving support and prayer…but does someone go beyond. Does someone go beyond the surface of the issue or the platitude and dive into the mire beside you? Are they willing to have the tough conversations, are they willing to carry part of your burden for awhile to help make the load lighter? Are they willing to be uncomfortable? Are you?
This week I had one of those tough conversations with a dear friend. Out of concern and knowing there was pain – wanting to dive deep and let her know I am here – whatever she needs. I’ll admit there was a part of me that thought she might be upset with me or push me away. But I believed in my heart God wanted me to talk to her – and prayed He would give me the words and prepare her heart. Her response just bolstered my belief in the need to go deep with each other. “Thank you for loving me enough and having the courage to come talk to me. To take the time in your day to seek me out. To do this…” and tears. So much more was said and much love was shared and encouragement. Sometimes people just need to know they are not alone. That someone is willing to go the distance with them. To go beyond the surface to the dark places.
People are craving depth, genuineness, love, grace. We crave those things and have a God who answers those cravings. We need to remember that sometimes His very answer to those cravings is in the form of another person…in relationship. If we are living and loving with the love of God – showing His grace to each other – then we are being His hands and feet here on earth. His tangible arms around one another in comfort.
I encourage you to be willing to go beyond the surface. Go where it’s not comfortable and bring comfort. Ask when it seems like it’s not ok to ask. If someone is withdrawing or pushing away – keep going to them – be persistent in the way God is persistent and patient with us. Pursue relationship.
Originally posted 2014-07-12 23:49:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
Beyond SurfaceSeptember 5th, 2014